Thursday, August 16, 2007

Taboo...

I was in love once....a very long time ago and forever. We tumbled into a makeshift romance, accidently falling into each other's worlds.....continents and languages apart, there was really only one language...ours. My children were babies and they understood only laughter and love and he was the whisperer of both.... 18 years later they still speak his name and beam if his number pops up, his name on a card in the mail. I smile, too. "Go to him"....they've said, many times.

And the places were far....Saudi, Germany, Africa, Oregon, Colorado....lifetimes from the place we call home. "Why did you break up?" they ask and I have no answer, only a story with no ending to share, and they listen again and again as if hearing the fairytale for the first time. They recite the middle parts, filling in where I forget, nursey rhymes in nonsensical words, and they remember....

It was taboo. This love affair. "The chasms are too great" my Father said. He forbade it. In his own little world.

And he was happy to watch my my children grow up in a house without a man....
And his daughter alone,
but strong and devoted and independent
and
mad as hell....

I've loved again since then. And I never thought I would. It was taboo and we played with matches. Drank cherry wine and danced under disco lights. Drove 1000 miles an hour to nowhere, laughing.

If I live long enough, I'll do it again...




36 comments:

Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt said...

S, is that another one of your beautiful paintings I see in the pic above?

And of course, you will love. It seeps from you into your postings and I am sure, into the life all around you. You seem like someone who cannot help BUT to love. Or at least you WRITE like someone who must. I am not sure there is much of a difference.

david mcmahon said...

G'day Singleton,

I agree with the comment above. And I love the fact that there is no bile in your post.

You are obviously in love with life. There can be nothing better.

More power to you.

Cheers

David

singleton said...

katherine...pardon me for not bouncing around....we've been building a castle.... and yes, it's mine, I drug it out from the shed, studio, home sweet home, when demolition started.... and I hope I can't help it....I hope that nothing would prevent me from laughing and dancing and living like that again....

david...because I've been blessed. No bile in my life. And what hell, I'm positive was meant to be, leading me to tomorrow.....And you can't fuss about that if it's gotten you where you were meant to be.....I'll be around much more when the cottage is done! Thanks for knockin'....

Scott from Oregon said...

sweet...

and it must be drywall mud time...

eric313 said...

You have loved...
You will yet love...
You do love.

You are love.

Your words tell me that.

Taboo...

You know that I know
the you know...

You know?
clink!

eric313 said...

my favorite time...

kj said...

oh jeez. i can't help myself: maybe you should find him.....

:)

karma lennon said...

I find love can often be taboo. I thought I wouldn't love again and I did and now it's broken me so I'm back to the place where I never will again. But I take comfort in your words, your experience that you did.

JustRun said...

I'm betting you will.
I'm betting we all will, somehow.

SpongyBones said...

and it is my wish and hope that you will do it again, and again and again until like things that are perceived as taboo aren't anymore in the dark shadows and are able to be seen for the beautiful things that they are ...

Rachelle said...

It's never too late......
Slainte~
Rachelle

singleton said...

scott....are you a butterfly on the wall? It's drywall mudtime!

eric....Hell, if we're gonna clink to anything, might as well be taboo! cha-ching! Clink!

kj...when the time is right, she will smile, and we'll know....

karma....My loves have not broken me, other people have though, put me through the ringer, treated me with less than respect, everything conditional in their world...My loves have been fair, and considerate and understanding even in misunderstandings. And so no matter how the letting go, there is nothing damaged in our pasts, nothing haunting, nothing lurking. In the going, as in the coming, we can only be thankful for our time together and all that we were blessed with "then" and all we get to take with us into tomorrow. Yours will come....The one, or more, who will make you "believe" again.....
peace, my friend, and yellow butterflies....

singleton said...

justrun....put your money on it, sweetie!

spongy....And that is my wish for the world. That one day, we can understand and accept that love, that crazy just connected, meant to be connected, kind of love, doesn't follow rules written by others. That the perfect match is the one that fits....and to go against that, to fight that, is just to settle....when two people are good for each other, then it's good....if people are bad for each other it's bad....That's my only rule! You rock, little one!

rachelle....
Of course not! Believe.....
Clink!

eric313 said...

Thank you for the time spent with you, Singleton. You eased me through some strange transitions.

My car's motor blew up in a puff of white smoke today. Suddenly, everything drifts away in the clouds, and I don't know if I can get it back.

But I'll be around... I hope. Miss ya already
peace~love

skinnylittleblonde said...

Gosh sister as long as there is love in the heart, the soul, the spirit ...falling in love with someone is, imho, unavoidable. It just happens. The chasms are too great for in not to...in my world & in yours, or so I believe. ILYSVFM xoxoxox

skinnylittleblonde said...

Tink Baby Tink!

eric313 said...

clink?

Trevor Record said...

Once I loved a girl. It was widely regarded as a big mistake, and I haven't done it since.

(Now I just dig girls, ya dig?)

eric313 said...

OK
I'm alright, no matter what. Hope you had a great night. Skinny's post was beautiful and made me appreciate how lucky I am. I just need courage to go forward with the chance that life has afforded me.

Hope you are doing well tonight. I've got a lot of crap to figure out, but it's not that bad. I can still go to school, I'll just have to find out what I can do about transportation in the meantime. It'll bite, but what soesn't bite?

disregard that crap above. I just freaked out and didn't know what to do at the time. I need to get the hopeless part out so I can see it--and yes, it was ugly hopelessness. But that isn't what I am. There is hope. I have that much, at least.

Be cool, friend. I'll be staying out at my dad's for a while, and I'll have to talk to him about internet--or walk up to the Michigan State University library and steal their computers. I don't know if I can, but I'll see if they are cool like they are at my beloved little nearby campus at Macomb Community College.

Thanks for listening to me, friend. This had all been building up and wearing me down, but the car blowing up for some reason made it materialize how much I have--not just how much I have to lose.

Here's to the afterglow...
you know...
Peace~Love

singleton said...

slb...tink you precious child, I've raised that arm and clinked you a half dozen times tonight! And yes, it;s unavoidable, it's just what we do, we peace~love~believers and you can't find fault with that! Every now and then, it works, and if even for a moment, you can feel it, know it, it is worth it. ILYSVVFM!
Tink you, clink you back, baby!

Eric..."life comes at us fast" and that's just all there is to that, things blow up, disappear, change before our very eyes, and sometimes we're frustrated and sometimes we're devastated, and sometimes we're just numb, but it' all meant to be...When I got bopped in the head with the bike, it hurt like hell, but it kept me home for 24 hours, toddling around with an icepack and a black eye.....And maybe, just maybe, the only way to keep me home was bopping me in the head! It's gonna be good, my friend, because.....
well, you know....
no matter what,
in the end,
peace wins.....
peace~love~ 4 U

trevor....go back and read the lines in Eric's most recent post.... about first loves....

Dig 'em while you can, enjoy it, Love will come again....
And you'll dig that too!

skinnylittleblonde said...

G' Morning Sunshine! I know you have another busy week-end making sure things are done 'right.'I went to bed early, woke up early & am already ready for a nap ;) I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

((Trevor)) Keep on diggin' man, but one day, don't be surprised if something grows out of all that soil you have been tilling.

singleton said...

skinny...
one more little patio poured....air conditioning mounted, all insulated, last of dry wall goin' up...Stones blasting
....little ones inside water coloring flowers and peace signs and all that glitters rockin' out to Shrek....
Burgers marinated, macaroni salad and beer on ice....

it's all good, it's all so very very good.
ILYSVVM

karoline said...

dance

{{hugz}}

Gillian @ Indigo Blue said...

Go!
Do it again!
Then write and tell us alllll about it. You rock my friend. Go live!
xoxo
Blue

skinnylittleblonde said...

beautiful. IMYSFMBLYEM

drips of paint said...

lovely:))

painting remind me of gaugain

eric313 said...

P~L

you make me smile

Orhan Kahn said...

So sad.

Yet so hopeful.

Much love, always.

singleton said...

karoline....Honestly, if I ever stop dancing....feel free to bop me in the head! For I'm sure that would be the first and most blatant sign, that I've lost my spirit somewhere on the highway....
hugs right back to you and
may we all
keep dancin'.....

blue....Oh hell, you know I'm gonna do it again. I get ants in my pants just sittin' here! xoxo

slb....Come a day, a time, a place...and we'll all be in a circle together, skinny arms reaching for the stars, the skies, barefeet stompin', slidin', groovin' on the sandy floor.....
Doin' the love thing, celebrating peace! ILYSVVFM2

Drips...Oh I gotta come over and find out how everything went, see your new works! I've had my head buried in the backyard for a couple of weeks now and am so far behind on hello's....so nice to see you again, my friend!

eric....p~l always. Your words have become wallpaper in my world, color everywhere!

singleton said...

Orhan....Tink ya baby! Same place same time! There's nothing ever ever sad about good love.....even if we have to let go! It's just hard....really hard. And sometimes your eyes rain!
peace, love, my friend

justacoolcat said...

This really reminded me of a song; Forever.

Keep fighting the good fight.

singleton said...

suchacoolcat....
OK, you've lured me in....but I can't get the link to work, so help me out.....who'se the artist? And I'll go searching....
and keep fighting
the good fight
:)

Wizened Wizard said...

Last night I heard Janis Ian sing "I Can't See You Anymore" (live on Mountain Stage). Has anything really changed in all these years?

Live, laugh, love; dance, paint, write. You have joy to spare. I lap it up.

justacoolcat said...

Try this, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwJyFyBQVEM&mode=related&search=

I can't test it because the youtubes are blocked at work.

singleton said...

wizened wizard....And that is why they call you wizened.....What little has changed has not changed anything at all.....
peace~love my friend

suchacoolcat....And that, the live version, would now be added to my playlist....
forever can be a very very short time.....
gotta feel it, make the most of it, when it comes along,
and believe......
not in three or four....

Maithri said...

Just droppin by to breathe in your light friend,

What a gift you have,

Your heart/soul/spirit words touch me deeply

Here's to love

and to you,

With love, M