Wednesday, January 30, 2008

What's a girl to do?

I don't know when it happened. It's been five months in the making, creeping, crawling, sneaking in.....and then walah!, I go to zip my jeans, (line dried, can't blame it on the heat!) and....ummm....for the first time in 36 years they don't fit! I'm suddenly there, courtesy of mid~life crises, a broken foot, and an obsessive compulsion to collect beer bottle caps. The pudge. The pinch an inch. This will never do! I live in Florida. We run around half naked, even when we're seventy. Flesh is a given. It's hot down here!



I moan. I don't cook. I don't clean. And I darn sure don't want to diet or exercise. Fridays are for dancing and other than that....I wanna dream. I spin in the mirror. Yup, got a fanny goin' on now, too! And pencil legs to hold it up! I cringe.



I lay on the floor and try to remember the 1-2-3's from my Cher Fitness Video.....Uggggghhh! I go to the fridge, take a cold one out and stare at it. I wonder how many calories are in this puppy. How many are in three? I pop the cap.



And decide I absolutely have to do something. I can't afford to buy new clothes. And then I remember.....yup! That's it.



I'm gonna get a new boyfriend. I need to dance in the kitchen again.



Wish me luck, friends,
And yeah,
peace and love......



Picture courtesy of the world wide web, www.hookedonvintage.com

31 comments:

Gillian @ Indigo Blue said...

Yes!
A new boyfriend!
One who loves a little fanny held up by two pencil legs. One who appreciates the woman you've become!!!
I too, have pudge. Such, a condition, mine caused by Fudge.
xo
Gillian

Maithri said...

You're too funny my sister. ;);)

Dont even start with 'the pudge'..

I ain't buyin it for a second!

Once a hottie...always a hottie.

And you dont need a boy to go dancin in the kitchen ;) Just a handful of craziness and a little love.

My love to you beautiful,

M

PS did the mailman deliver? (that sounds a bit wrong but you know what i mean lol)

Maithri said...

Oh and btw have you seen the beautiful things Shimmerings wrote about you on her blog?

singleton said...

blue....Clink you! To Michelobs and bon~bons! There's no giving up, I'm givin' in! Here's to the next love of my life, and hand me down jeans!

Maithri....LOL! I just wanna go dancin' on Friday! The new me, Ta! dah!, is just more of it! As my sweet, sweet friend Bruce, just conceded...."I'm the fattest skinny little blonde he's ever known"!

I checked the box on Monday and it's just not meant to be yet, I know, am sure, that the moment I'm meant to sit pajama'ed,indian style on the floor, glued to the screen, lost in thought, it will arrive.....

Shimmerings is beautiful. I knew the first time I stumbled on her sight, her clay sculptures there and her heart, her Daddy's love, splayed out on the post, that we would be friends, that we were friends who just hadn't met yet...And then I kept reading, and knew the butterfly had kissed me. She rocks.

Peace~love my friends
and BTW, Eric, I can't fit in your hand me downs anymore!

Shimmerrings said...

Aw, shucks, ya'll :D

DJ Kirkby said...

Good luck!!!!

Anonymous said...

Persichetti says...

Ah ha....sounds like your up to our old "send me an angel" days...well remember the old saying (we said it many times) "be careful what you ask for" hee hee -perhaps we both need a good night of "I pick him'! Gosh - the last time I did that with you I eventually ended up with him for 7 years and...well you know the rest:)! Love you!

singleton said...

shimmerings....Clink! Peace~love, girl!

DJ....Thank you! I'll keep you posted!:)

Persichetti....I remember that night like yesterday....And you were sent an Angel....a freckle faced peace of Heaven! How could we have ever known how blessed that little Friday night would have turned out to be! I love you!

Peace~love my friends
And the meant to be's....

WILSONART said...

Careful,,,,,careful.
A new boyfriend might make you
want to start cooking,,,,,then comes the cleaning! Those latent domestic feelings might be lurking.
Just wet those jeans,,,,stretch 'em out while wet,,,works for me!
But keep dancing in the kitchen anyway.
#:-B

singleton said...

babs.....LOL! No, girl, that won't happen! A new boyfriend might get me cookin' up some magic, but it won't be fried chicken! I tend to fall for great cooks or those that know good restaraunts! And as for cleanin', nah.....Once you turn on the disco light, even the cathair looks good!:)

peace~love
livin' good!

kj said...

ingenious girl you are singleton. i suggest you dance away before and you'll be in better shape for the during...

:)

Princess Pointful said...

You sparkle even when talking about pudge.
Dancing anywhere is infinitely better than getting into sweat pants and forceably (sp?) sweating anyday!

benjibopper said...

hey don't dis the fanny. work it!

karma lennon said...

LOL, you're so funny! You will find a new boyfriend in no time, girl! But you can dance in your kitchen alone too, I always do (well, unless you count Char the pup, he dances with me)! Although I did get to enjoy a nice little ballroom dancing round the bathroom the other morning....;) (Yes, my life is bliss!)

i beati said...

that's the ticket

marky said...

you still look pretty hot.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

It may work. I have always lost weight when I've been in love. But you didn't say anything about love, did you?

SpongyBones said...

LOL you crack me up. I am sure that the mean sun is just shrinking your jeans to make you do some naked dancing ... you know how the sun likes a free show every now and then!

Gawpo said...

Oh Singey. I'll be right down there to spin you on your good foot. Like the vid you posted 12/19: All ya need is love.

Here's a hug.

G

singleton said...

KJ....LOL! JSYK, I took your advice and just went dancin' again. I'll save the rest of the story for later:)

Princess...I loathe organized exercise and have absolutely no discipline whatsover at keeping myself intuned. Hands down, I'd rather be dancing! :) And besides that, ewwwww....Sweat suits! LOL!

Benji....I know, I know, I know! :)

Karma...Clink! I've never stopped dancing in the kitchen! It's good for the soul and good for the terraza, keeps it good and old! And as for the boyfriend thing, well we all now, they just bop up when they're meant to, or when we suddenly open our eyes and see....

Ibeati....Yup! It's like goin' to the fair!

Peace~love my friends
That's the best kinda road trip!

singleton said...

Marky....LOL! Must be the boots!

Saintly...Ahhh, but I did..... "wish me luck, friends, and yeah, peace and love"...... And really, I don't care about the little pudge....It's been a half a century coming, and like these laugh lines and cry lines....it's the scrapbook of my life, my story, and I wouldn't change a moment leading up to the now.....

Spongy...Why didn't I think of that? blame it on the Sun! Of course! :) That's my new story, and I'm stickin' to it!

Gawpo...Isn't that song wonderful, I could post it every other day....Love it! And I'm spinnin' on both feet now. This girls gotta pair of combat boots just the right size to camo the gear, and spin on.....:)

Peace~love Everyone
Dance in the kitchen!

skinnylittleblonde said...

Lol....Sister. Dancing is great exercise, but I think you wanna do more than simply just dance. I think you wanna twist, shout, let it all out & then, maybe even shake it up maybe. Yep, I think you're brewing up some magic cocktails in that kitchen!

singleton said...

Clink! Little one! You can hear the tinkerin', the clatterin', the laughter in the wind....And change, movin' in for the moment, settlin' like pixie dust on old furniture, comfortable and right at home..... Yeah, there's magic blowin' in the wind....
ILYSVVM

she said...

singtome: much more fun to count boyfriends and dances than calories..

and p.s. .. sent a couple packages to market place some time ago...

have they made it alive?

much love beautiful one! ~s.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

'Fanny' means something quite different here..

Don't be afraid of exercise. It's not just good for the body, but also the mind. My confidence went up when I started to exercise more, and it seems to give you more energy than it takes away.

...which gives you all the more to dance with!

singleton said...

She....SLB is gonna check Market tomorrow, but the last check was a no-go. And I'm sittin' on love beads with your name all over 'em! I'm not worried sweetie, they will come when they are meant to....That's just the way it is....May the circle be unbroken....Peace~love my brave and wonderful friend

Ultra....OK, so give....What does it mean? I could google it, but that would take the layman's fun out of it! And actually, I do exercise, randomly, on the fly, pumping bottles of really good wine too pretty to drink, tipytoeing at the kitchen counter, one and two and three, and flailing on the leopard skin rug in random sets of crunches....And you're right, it feel's good, gives much more than it takes!
May we all dance on......:)

mindy said...

dancing in the kitchen!! i love it. you will find him.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

It's slang for Vagina

singleton said...

Mindy....Clink!

Ultra....Glad I didn't google it!

Peace~love my friends
and yeah,
I went for a bike ride tonight!

karoline said...

lol singleton...midlife pudge...we need soft spots to snuggle babykins, boyfriends and handles to hold on us to hug ourselves by...

good luck with that new boyfriend anyhow..

*wink*

k:))))

singleton said...

Sweet Karoline.....
There's something marvelously freeing about the 50's! Pudges, wrinkles, everyday faces, become signs of strength and survivorship, another story stacked on our totem pole....And really, we're finally free to wear them all in peace, to be ourselves. As a matter of fact, I'm kinda diggin' it!

Peace~love sweet friend
(I'll keep ya posted on the boyfriend biz~!)