Tuesday, October 17, 2006
DO NOT HIT SEND!
This is the warning my friend Linda bellows into my ear. My Boss echoes it. Peggy preaches it. Spontaneous words. I am compelled to let them fly. A fleeting thought becomes a giant break-through in spiritual self awareness , and suddenly it all makes sense and I have to share it.... SEND! DONE! SHARED! Of course, the morning after, I might not feel the same....
"Mom! Tell me you DID NOT just break up with him on text message?"
"Arrrrrrggggghhhhh. Do you think you're 18 again?"
"Ummmm. yeah.... kinda"
I do that. Dirty little fingers. Draw it . Write it . Type it . And hit send! I've written 3:00 in the morning love letters to strangers (well, almost strangers .... Kimbies surgeon for example) and walked them to the leaning mailbox, placed the flag at high mass, at 3:45 AM. In the morning when I wake up, trudge down the gravel drive way, back up and see the little red flag waving at me, I cringe a little.... "Oh God, I have to take it out...snatch the words from the runway before the postman finds them and sets them free" and then I turn the music up louder and keep backing out. Put it in forward. And drive off. It's a love letter for crying out loud. If he thinks I'm a nut so be it. He saved my sisters life. I can write him love letters if I want.
I've painted billboard revalations..... giant banners of "Do you get my drift yet?" and left them annonymously staked on obvious corners like "We Buy Houses" Signs or " Speeding fines doubled when workers present" signs. (Skinny, I remember the night we hauled off with the Beach Bag sign.... Paul McCartney on the radio... "Baby you amaze me"..... We laughed all the way home, high from the "WE DID IT" "WE GOT THE LAST WORD IN!")
I hit send.
If I have something to say at the moment. And it feels right. I hit the button. I might have better manners, or be more reserved, or more inclined to keep it to myself in the morning, but if it feels right when you think it, share it.
Last night my internet was down.
This morning it was down.
I wanted to hit SEND so bad I couldn't stand it.
For once in my life,
I'm glad I couldn't.
Must be that "Baby, you amaze me" thing.