Monday, September 10, 2007

I wish you peace.....


Plopped on the couch for days like a skinny little jelly fished washed a shore, I've had a lot of quiet time to myself. The incessant hum of the TV lugged into the living room for the occassion, lullabyes me back to sleep, again and again. I don't watch TV, but the parade of Angels tip-toeing in and out of my kitchen door, find comfort, I think, in flipping it on, tilting the screen toward the couch. I have no idea how to work the remote, so it's warm humming, a swarm of purring bees, rocks me back to sleep.
And I keep waking up with revelations.

Perhaps because Orhan reminded me how blessed I am by guardian spirits, I awoke today drenched with gratitude, and the overwhelming desire to write thank-you notes to the random angels in my life. The one's that don't get to see me smile, the ones I've never hugged or will never get to hug again, the one's I've been blessed with by chance..... The folks who have stepped both in and out of my life so quickly, and changed the butterfly effect forever.... I clink! you all, and thank you......

I start with these.....

Sweet Mothers of my daughters.....There are no words big enough to thank you for your trust, for gifting into my arms, your first born children. I see you everyday in their faces, their toes, the way one throws her head back when she laughs....the way they both think in black and white, siblings by chance, sisters by fate. I pray you know we love you, that we hope you believe in me, in us, in them, and know by trust, or faith, or visions from above that they are beautiful, headstrong, independent, and as in love with you as any Mother's child. I thank you often, but not often enough. And I just pray you know it. I can't send postcards to heaven, and I can't send them by first-name-only through general mail delivery. You were brave. You were strong. You loved your children so very, very much that you gave them emerald wings and they became my children....my dreams come true...my first born children, my precious daughters. There are no words big enough to wrap you in, to thank you with.....

Father of my children, Dad, Daddy.....We'll never sit next across from each other having heart-to-hearts, we don't speak the same language. And so I can't tell you this. And you would never understand. But I thank you for being there, the butterfly effect, so our family could be gathered. And I thank you just as much, for straying, for wandering, for our differences.... for pushing me to the bridge when it needed to be crossed. I thank you for leaving when I asked you to and trusting me to do right....to raise them, to love them and teach them to love you. I thank you for our freedom. For our wings......The girls are flying and free and Jonah keeps trying them on for size. One day, he'll find his fit and soar.....

Our lives have been rocky. And roller-coasterish. And wonderful. We've been broke and sometimes even poor. We've been afraid and sometimes terrified. We've been weak and sometimes broken. And we've been soldiers. Surrounded by an army of Angels. And that has made us rich, and sometimes generous. Brave and sometimes daring. Stronger than we ever imagined.

I wish you all peace and love,
and thank you....

endlessly

88 comments:

eric1313 said...

To teach them love
to teach them
that their soul
will never be empty
once it goes beyond
lips, like words do,
leaving gulfs of
silence.

That silence
is when all love
is most important.

Nothing will prepare one
to survive each silence;
all they have
are the lessons learned
about love as you know it.

singleton said...

Eric...we have been so blessed, I think my girls know what their Mother's would have told them, the lessons they would have shared, the love that is still rained on them....even in the voiceless night. I hope their Mothers know....in the quietude, the same....that they are listening, living, loving, learning....
growing....

skinnylittleblonde said...

Awwwww.....so beautiful, profound & true... a family of lives, spirits & moments taht knows no boundaries. I love it, sister, and feel blessed for them too :) And all day long I keep thinking about Gramma Lea going to the Secret Garden...so blessed...

singleton said...

slb.....yes....And she did....And she knew....and the circle grows..... ILYSVVM....We are so very very blessed

eric1313 said...

porch party!

the bugs have to scoot over
make room for some hippies
with pencils, paints and
guitars.

paddy said...

Love Paddy- keep getting stronger.

kj said...

whoa!and wow! i just happened to write about gratitude myself tonight, and in the doing, there's an award waiting for you at my blog.

enjoy!

singleton said...

Eric....next time we have a porch party on a work night, we have to remind Skinny... No Shots! I'm slow to go this morning!

Paddy....Love....It makes us stronger!

KJ....It must be in the air, that reach out-and-hug-you kind of moon! Thank you, sweetie...We're so blessed to be blessed!

Peace~love my friends

Wizened Wizard said...

Beautiful. Your writing is such wonderful food for thought.

benjibopper said...

what an amazing family you have. i love this thanksgiving you have given. it is something i need to do more of myself.

she said...

gratitude is a healthy habit, and don't you just elevate the form by doing so with such a beautiful selection and arrangement of words

"to counting our blessings out loud" ~s.

Tai said...

Lovely. Casting the net of gratitude wide is such a beautiful thing to do. Thanks for the inspiration, Singleton.

karma lennon said...

That was just amazing. :) YOU are amazing, you know this right?

eric1313 said...

shots? Is that where you wandered off to?

I wondered...

well, y'all know I clink you anyway. Should of told me, then i woudn't have felt so bad about slugging from the bottle...

singleton said...

wizened....It's a beautiful world. Often chaotic, upside down and inside out, but beautiful.... And sometimes I forget to celebrate it all! Thank you sweetie!

benji....really there are no words to paint our family tree...to express the overwhelming miracle that has occured....generation afer generation. Out of this giant revolving world filled with millions and millions of people going in a thousand different directions, our family has been gathered, one chance encounter at a time, and the family tree is knotted and tangled and stronger than blood of any color or kind could ever be.....

she....it is, it is. And I try as most of us to always express that, to share that, to feel the love.....but it's those I know who can't hear my voice on the other side of the kitchen door, or read the words tucked in a card or scribbled for them to find....that I hope know....believe....how very,very much we thank them for for choosing choice, for choosing us.....for not ever, ever giving up, but giving gifts.....

Peace~love my friends, share the love, the peace will come.....

eric1313 said...

clink! I just turned to the page at 721

singleton said...

tai....and only you could word thankfulness so beautifully. I hope the net is cast far enough for them to feel the love..... and know.....

karma....They are amazing. And I hope they all have friends like you, who will tell them that over and over again.....

Eric....Just kiddin'.....no shots for Cinderella over here! Nah, with my right leg propped up and the words flying from the porch to the screen and over the fence again, I was sluggin' from the bottle too! Mic is mine! Clink! To the best of times.....

Peace~love and I'm glad you're here, my friends!

singleton said...

clinkity clink!

eric1313 said...

i'm here, how was the day? Tey have you workin?

singleton said...

I have soooo been workin'! Hobblin' down the halls, swinging crutches left and right! Started driving Friday (although it might not be a good idea to be on the road at the same time with ole lead foot, literally!) I spent the week-end paintin' the castle,condo,cottage in the backyard...balanced on drywall buckets and hanging from ladders! It's all good! And you?

eric1313 said...

The tree of life--
it was called in ages
past...

the roots of we...

from roots to boughs
stretch the faces
flows the blood
breathes all life
from today's new height
to the deep earth below.

and do the leaves ever drop
without new buds
to open in the spring time
of all love's rain?

do the roots not deepen
every year
under hard ground, buried;
and yet as alive
as any flowering branch
touching sky's exposed
waist?

Are not these many birds
that rest in the boughs
a part of the tree as well
as any fruit,
twig, leaf or nut?

eric1313 said...

Me? I've been looking for a job, and avoiding anything requiring me to ask "do you want fries with that?"

Got home a bit ago. I've been OK. I want to write, but I feel like I need to read a lot, now.

Every good writer reads lots od good stuff.

singleton said...

I'm reading too, waist deep, wading through the pages
and it's tonic
for my soul...
going from house to house
reading the walls....

and yes, the birds are a part of
the tree....
the music
the gatherers
the ribbon bearers
the happenchance
beauties
their colors sprinkling
the old brown limbs like
christmas ornaments
dangling
dancing
year round

eric1313 said...

discovered Guitar Tab.com this morning; learned a bunch of songs, "key to the highway", "bell-bottom blues", "state of love and trust", "houses of the holy"--that one was just some brush up on it. It's nice to know the chords, though. I kept tryin at Ten Years Gone, by zep, but damn if nobody showed the same way to play the song. Page was not six people, he only played it one way in the live version of the song that I saw.

eric1313 said...

you got it. Those unexpected additions hanging from the branches...

tada!

You have a bunch of us, on a peripheral level. We're all fruits in your magic tree that is forever green and forever alive.

singleton said...

Eric....I'd much rather be playing the guitar than dishin' out fries! Keep strummin' those chords and bangin' out the words, there's a new moon risin'! I saw it through the trees!

eric1313 said...

You know it.

Who knows, I might have to do something, pick it all back up and get moving down the road yet still. I'm checking Michigan central university, about a hundred miles north of here.

singleton said...

Eric...the road will take you there....or somewhere else, but it will nudge you right along, sometimes shoving, pushing, rushing, sometimes dawdling offering trails and sidewalks and totally under construction detours....
but you'll get there, and when you do.....
you'll know you're home....

eric1313 said...

"And it only goes to show- (da-da-da-da-da) and you know!"

houses of the holy, baby. A lot more fun than remembering "info on three people not related to me".

eric1313 said...

Home, just after college. If I don't do that first, my home won't ever be right with me.

I missed my calling earlier, worked and went to school late, but that was a good thing. Needed that time to grow and see the world enough to have things to write about.

singleton said...

eric...home is where you feel it, alive, and welcome. Where you know the minute you walk through the doors or wander the streets or look into her/his/their eyes.....you belong. That you were always meant to find this place, this time, this face.....
And then, like a rickety ole roller coaster, it can change again....
all part of the roadtrip....life...
and as skinny says
thats for
livin, lovin, learnin.....
You're learning , clink to that, and it'll all come....

eric1313 said...

clink! clink!

eric1313 said...

clink!

singleton said...

clink!

eric1313 said...

and, of course, I have to say, this girl is absolutely my favorite. The way her eyes look when you click the drawing and get the big picture... hse 's just amazingly detailed.

Looking through the leaves.

looking for the first time
at her home perhaps
her eyes that tell her
she belongs.

singleton said...

I'm scoochin' outa here to "elevate"
and color.....
workin' on a new one that's been staring back at me for days now
patiently waiting on me to
color her world
and finish her story....
"in the end, she wore peace".....
and the ink
just has a mind of it's own
traveling
tattling
perhaps
even making it up as it flows....

peace~love
and I'll still be clinkin'.....

singleton said...

clink!
there we go
talkin about the girls
in sync!

eric1313 said...

in sync? but with beautiful hippie women?

rock on!

Clink!

singleton said...

Ok, I'm goin to color,
theres thunder hangin' in the trees
and lightenin' dancing through the windows,
and it's perfect....
leavin' the porch light on!

peace~love sweet hippie friend

eric1313 said...

If I ever get enough levis to trade...

Id love to have this girl.

as I remember the scribblings...

her name is,

Gimmiepeace

eric1313 said...

her mermaid blue hair is also a clincher...

she's only half mermaid, isn't she?

eric1313 said...

Gimmepeace

that's her name...
like the song
like the place

------------



She has a house like a wild horse;
normal white pickets and rose gardens
by day
...some hippie beads
and loose change ideas laying
on the front lawn bermuda grass,
blowing around in wide circles...

...a fully functional hippie-lair
after twilight strikes a pose.

A sleeping and rocking,
full-tilt boogie woogie homestead,
beads in the doorway,
black lights shining black,
lava lamps burning orange,
christmas lights
in july,
pulsing to life and its beat
as "all along the watchtower"
tells a story of
hearts and diamonds--
jokers running with theives.

The kind of people who make houses
like they make love;
and make houses
for love,

in their spare time

You aren't alone
with an army
at your feet,

And your house knows no peace
since you keep giving it away
like you've learned to do;

it's all part of floating...
keeping your head above water
but lower than the clouds
the high wire without a net;
because you won't look down,
you won't ever need it again.

Only at your house
the circles all converge
into a flower patern in the center
nothing myist
only
forevers finally meeting
for one brief arc
of their journey

singleton said...

Eric...

Deal! This is it!
....
now pencil it on a brown paper
bag
or scribble it on blue lined paper
or a
take-out-sack
henscratch
and edits
and all...
so I can hang
your words from a clothesline
framed on the blue walls


And I'll give you peace
"like I've learned to do"
and
see her face
forever
in the written
mirror
on the wall

eric1313 said...

deal!

Clink!

So what's the deal, again?

eric1313 said...

feels good to change the shirt...

that one was gettin a little...

fossilized from the heat
and the rain

and...

the motor oil
in this rusty, hard knock-city
by the rivers and the lakes.

skinnylittleblonde said...

lol...ding, dong!
write 'those' words, mail them & in turn 'she' is yours.

skinnylittleblonde said...

Swapping some wall art!

eric1313 said...

the poem up there? On a paper bag?

Awesome...

Really?

skinnylittleblonde said...

yeah ... thats what it sounds like to me!

skinnylittleblonde said...

Gimmepeace

that's her name...
like the song
like the place

eric1313 said...

She's got it. Plus a good book (vonnegut or mcmurtry or bukowski or carver) and some blue jeans--black stonewashed jeans that are trut relics from my freshmen year of high school.

eric1313 said...

paint stains and all

skinnylittleblonde said...

I bet those paint stained freshman year jeans will fit her like yesterday & tomorrow!

eric1313 said...

glad your still here. I found the perfect canvas for this. Now I'll edit it up just right...

eric1313 said...

OK, that's it. Enough editing.

I've got a great canvas, it's paper, so maybe it will frame nicely...

eric1313 said...

Gimmepeace

that's her name...
like the song,
like the place--

She has a house like a wild horse;
normal white pickets and rose gardens
by day
...some rocks, some gems,
hippie beads
and other
loose change ideas laying about lazy-like
on the front lawn bermuda grass,
making scenes and taking them down,
blowing around in wide circles...

...a fully functional hippie-lair
after twilight strikes a pose.

A deep-sleeping and rocking,
full-tilt boogie-woogie homestead,
beads in the doorway,
black lights shining black,
lava lamps burning orange,
christmas lights
in july,
pulsing to life and its beat
as "all along the watchtower"
tells a story of
hearts and diamonds--
jokers running with theives.

The kind of people who make houses
like they make love;

That make houses
for love and what ever else
they can make in spare time,
with spare change; Ideas.

She isn't alone
with an army
at her feet,

And her house knows no peace
since she keeps giving it all away,
the way she learned to do;

It's all part of floating...
keeping her head above water
but lower than the clouds,
the high wire without a net--
because she won't look down,
she won't ever need it again.

So in this spirit above all others,
she welcomes every desperado
to the Wild Horses homestead,
welcomes ever joker or bum poet
to the center of the stars,
the back porch stairs,
where the circles all converge
in a lightning-caressed flower pattern,
A lick-on,
stick-on
washed off forever ago
and still stained your shirt tattoo--

Nothing mysterious or arcane,
it's a place where forevers fly to,
to meet each other for a spell,
for one brief arc
of their journey
through purple mountains
and blue yonders;
and every green wild
under the storied face of the Moon.

eric1313 said...

Here's the final-final. I spoke too soon. I started writing new lines and stuff... just can't leave well enough alone...

peace out, my friend... until tomorrow blushes early... you'll be dancing like those dreams of yours in no time.

No said...

This was a beautiful post. Thank you.

singleton said...

skinny....I miss you everyday more and more! Sister~love you are the bomb!

Eric...Email me an address and there's a package on the fly! When you're ready here's our pick-up post:

Just Give Me Peace
ATT: Skinny / Singleton
269 Market Place Blvd
# 115
Cartersville, GA 30121

They'll get it right to me, and that way we don't have to wory about it being left in the rain or tucked under someone elses doorway. Cool!
Peace~love~and painted walls!

No...Thank you. I wish I had done this one a very long time ago. Hope you are feeling much, much better!

Peace and love to all

sandykessler said...

feeling better ??how great to have all that gratitude and love and a concrete block for a foot - just kidding..

eric1313 said...

buttrfly taking a brick with her when she goes flying...

like a very bad joke...

like dragging a car door with you through the desert, so if it gets hot, you can roll the window down...

Wa-wahhhhh.......
told ya it was bad joke day.

I'll send ya the stuff. No joke, just goods from the past and new words.

Thanks for being you, I don't know if you could tell, but for the past few days, I really wasn't feeling like myself. It took some writing, a porch party, and some encouragement from you and Skinny.

WOke up this morning, and I have nothing but smiles in place of doubts and worries. Thank you.

SpongyBones said...

Not much can make me cry, but this post did ... no wait, naw it's not that at all. It's cause I just smoked my last cig ... *wink*.

Nice I wish the whole world could have this outlook ... you inspire me.

JustRun said...

What a beautiful post. Thanks for taking the time. :)

eric1313 said...

And by the way, congratulations! You're the ultimate inspirational blogger.



Your words--the ones you tell me in paintings, as well as written in key strokes--are as crazy as paint buckets thrown against the wall exploding like rain from a red cloud evening thunderstorm, quenching the fires lit by the over heating of days.

Cover your eyes for a second, but look outside her back porch window--everythng changes suddenly, a shade drawn down covers only one window; the sun could care less.

So why not take control of one arm of the chaos? Why not throw a few back, a few down, and a few against the wall? See what sticks, see what falls and what drips down slowly.

Some are trails rushing to catch up with motion.

Some are the aurora
some are fingers of creation,
and some are just called
'splotch-work orange'
or
'what in blue blazes?'

somebody rolled their body across
the colors like a roller.

Somebody painted a spider to the wall...

But it, too, is then part of the whole glorious panorama, a small part on accident, but it's as happy there in the swirls of mad creation as it might have been in it's web... or just ridding the wobbly ceiling fan like a tilt-a-wirl... circles and lines both continuing on forever, and the colors are all incidental; feelings running red, blue, or green on the black and white images of what passes for normal.

eric1313 said...

See? Your pretty damned inpirational.

kj said...

well. hmmmmpf!

i ms. kj is not so leisurely so as to read 71 comments, or 67, or whatever this huge number is.

i have done so only because it was joyful and entertaining, number 1, and watching eric grow before my eyes is quite quite cool (hope you don't mind the observation, eric).

so there.

singleton said...

sandy...feeling very thankful these days, even for the concrete foot. My little brother has been tethered to a wheel chair for months and months now, and I honestly do know how lucky I am in a zillion million ways. So hope you are having good days too, my friend.

spongy....here, have one of mine! But don't cry, this isn't your party, it's mine! :) JK, actually you can whine on these pages anytime, about anything......cuz we love ya!

justrun...thank you. I should have done it forever ago, out loud I mean. I hope they always know I've done it here, at home and in heart......

Eric....people are gonna start believing "somebody painted a spider to the wall" along these halls! You rock, my prophetic hippie friend! Pssssst.....got your email, send me the return address now and we'll pass the peace on the highway.....

KJ.....ahhh, there's always rainy days to ramble through the halls.... and he is growing....his words, his thoughts, his world! Maybe, we're all growing.....right before our eyes!

Peace~love to all

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Written with pure love. You fill me up and make me grin so wide from the sheer joy that you convey through your posts. You are in love with life girl, can there ever be anything more contagious?? (Smile)

ps. Eric's in love..

eric1313 said...

I'm in love with poetry.

It took someone like you for me to match wits to. A good friend who can write with anyone. Yet you write with me, too.

eric1313 said...

Of course I don't mind the observations... Thank you, kj and shrink. Glad to have a place to grow.

singleton said...

shrink! Where have you been girl? Almost coaxed the nosey neighbor out to tell=tell your whereabouts! Life is good if we're livin', loving', learnin' and laughin'....And then we darn sure better say thank you for the moments, the chances, the good stuff!

P.S. Eric is in love with words, and he's having a mighty affair with them, a romantic twisting psychedlic affair....From my porch I can see it all ..... unfolding....
rock and roll fireworks!
Love it!

Eric....
And that's what we do....
write...
color....
wrap it all up in technicolor streamers.....
And send them flying....
paper kites in the wind.....

Peace~love my friends

eric1313 said...

did you get the email?

drips of paint said...

touched my heart...

....sometimes I thought mistakenly singleton have no heartache in life but it is only because she turn them into butterflies .... the effect is felt all the way here & around the world everywhere..

eric1313 said...

everywhere.

singleton said...

drips....heartache is everywhere. It takes only saying the word to send me spinning back to the day the world ended and changed my life forever, and had I known then that even that was only a microchasm of what was to come, I couldn't have survived it...but I didn't. And so I looked for the good, and sought the reason, and realized we have to go on....happy, or sad, bitter or mad, lonely or alone, our lungs still pump, our bills still land in the mailbox, and if we're lucky, our neighbors still talk to us....

I found the yellow butterfly, busy as she always has been ,i just had never noticed her before, at the beach, flitting amongst the sand dunes, over tourists and their brown bagged lunches, trailing behind lonely treasure hunters, hovering over the bar....everywhere I turned, she was there, out of place amongst the seagulls and the season....fluttering by, beautiful, and full of energy and color....and hope....
and the reminder that amongst the
chaos, the hurricanes, the destruction, the lives gone awry....there is a little yellow butterfly that still dances.....I have never, ever forgotten her... the color she painted for me that day and
we clinked! to her in passing
and sort of made a promise
that we would share her
magic.....
peace, love, and hope, that's what she came to be known as....
and in our world,
she's kind of a legend.....
and we kiss the sky....
at every sighting...

Wow! you never knew you'd get me going so..... huh?
But then again, it's the butterfly effect....And I thank you!

singleton said...

eric....Clinks! Emailed!

eric1313 said...

I'll check it right now.

david mcmahon said...

Orhan's right - you are indeed blessed by guardian spirits.

deservedly so .....

drips of paint said...

never looked at a butterfly the same after you ...

never know magic is real .. now I do

the effect everywhere...
your nature
peace,
love,
hope:)))

eric1313 said...

peace&love

I can't wait for the package to arrive...

singleton said...

David...so blessed. And we all are, they're there, watching...

drips....when you believe, it is there.....right where everyday life used to live, magic makes it's home....

eric....
packing her up now!

Peace~love my friends

Maithri said...

Dear Friend,

I am so pleased and humbled to meet you. Here in these words i trace the hand of a gracious, liberated spirit. One who has soaked up the good and bad of life and managed to hew out of the mountain of experience, a jewel of hope, humility and gratitude.

It moves me more than i can say,

With love to you,

Maithri.

singleton said...

Maithri....
I am so glad you happened by, and knocked....If I could copy and paste everyword from above, I would plant it on a paper airplane and send it right back to you...."More than I can say...."

Peace~love my friend and thank you for reaching out.....may the circle grow and grow and grow....

Maithri said...

Your artwork is incredible!!

Wow!

Love, M

singleton said...

Thank you, Its gives me peace.....and often find myself when surrounded by all the colors...lost, traveling, and surprised when the chain is finally broken, at what's been born on the paper....
I found a great piece of cardboard at work today, and in the final moments of the clock ticking, everything finished for the day, just waiting for the hand to stike now! started sketching....
and so her story waits for me,
for the colors to unfold.....I really have to concentrate on not dropping everything else to just breathe life into her....
the week-end will be welcomed!

peace~love and worlds and words in every color......

karoline said...

(((singleton))) as always, the epitome of grace...
k:)))

singleton said...

karoline....Thank you....this ole life has been blessed in so many unexpected ways....and sometimes, where there once was crises, lies the very first thread of a new blessing....
love, much love......

Maithri said...

Whenever I read these words... without fail

I cry.

Such is the power of your love,

M