Monday, June 04, 2007

Wild horses and other love songs

The very first ever kiss. A 5th grade feather on the cheek. Double-eye winking, looking away. Feathers falling everywhere. Down our arms, down our legs, in a heap on the dusty playground. I laugh and run. Gangly arms doing the breast-stroke in the lunchtime wind, running faster….toward the girls….away from Ronnie-freckled-McCartney.

Eskimo kisses. My father’s broad Indian nose touching mine. His black eyes, small and shining, locking mine. He lifts me up into the air, nose to nose and I flail...kick my skinny legs in every direction, giant Ked sneakers banging his shins, and shriek in laughter. Eskimo kisses on a hot summer night.

At the Bayou….I’m in the eighth grade and I’m not allowed. My Father said so. I’m all dressed up in borrowed shoes and a chopped up make-shift dream-come-true dress and he scooches in closer and kisses me hard. I love it. “Take me home” I obediently mutter ….. It’s midnight, now…..

“Have you ever been French kissed before?”
“Yesssssss” I whisper, eyes closed …….
“Oh my God, this is it” my heart screams…….

Chubby little cheese curl toes. I touch them. Marvel at their perfect imperfections. Smooch! I pucker up and kiss the little pink soles hard. “You’ll never ever be too old for Mama to love you”…….

Grimy glass covered in hand swipes, nose prints. Snot. Standing like a barbed wire fence between us. They lift the steps up and the engines roar. I search frantically for his face in the little oval windows. I kiss my own fingers and lift them up… blow. Praying he sees me. Praying it reaches him. Praying for an end to war…..

I’m next to her now. Trying hard to breath in rhythm. Counting in between her sudden gasps for air, for life.
1, a million, 2, a million, 3, a million……15, a million, 16.…….
I don’t want to stop her going. I don’t want to save her now. I want nothing more than peace so I’m trying to be very, very quiet. We’re breathing in labored sync. I can’t stand it. Roll over and kiss her fragile little forehead, “it’s okay. You can go now”…..
And we start again…..
1, a million….2, a million, 3.…..
“I’ve loved you for a million years”……. My sweet, sweet, Nadine…….

My hands cupped around his sweaty block-head. Holding on. Grasping at the real live HIM! I squeeze. Lean in and kiss him, Italian style, on both cheeks. Muah! Muah! My fingers, shaking, trace his nose,His I-just-recently-could-grow-this-stuff chin. My son. Free. I hold on to him for dear life.

Floating in the lazy round river. It’s hot and his eyes are blue. Then teal and green and yellow… an endless ocean… frothy beer suds on laughing waves.
Without ever touching…..without ever letting go…….

The kiss goes on and on….

34 comments:

skinnylittleblonde said...

'Well, Kiss My Grits,' sister this is a beautiful tribute to all those you have loved.

GRITS=Girls Raised In The South ;)
Gawd, I could kiss you right now!

ps~ Mom & Dad say they are leaving tomm?

kj said...

wow. wow. incredible writing, filled with love upon love upon love. i would be proud as anything to have written this, singleton. what a tribute to the special people you love. of course, you again leave me wanting to know a few details. i come to understand that is your trademark: you tease and twist and leave me, and not just me, wanting more & more.

i give you an A on this one, girl.

:)

Bardouble29 said...

Incredible. This brought tears, it was real...I could feel the emotion.

I absolutely can not wait until I can to myself and head your way for hugs, margaritas and lots of talks and dancing! One of these days I am going to meet you!

Scott from Oregon said...

I was only eight and they held me down. It took all of them to catch me and bring me down. More than sixty of them. They smooched like biting rats. I screamed and cried out. It was horrible. All those little girls...

singleton said...

SLB...I'm gonna kiss your grits! 8 days, baby! Starting to throw stuff in a heap....(The good stuff: Bucket for shells and driftwood, coolie cups, lighters, CDs....)getting ready.....! ILYSVVM and CWTSY!

KJ....:)Well, you know what we are forever sayin' round here....Love Grows....... And it really does. Funny that a little shadow kiss, the one never mentioned, took me all the way back and then home again! Yeah, love grows.....

bardouble...and you are! Oh yeah! We are so gonna cook up a southern hoo-hah! Gather round in a circle, throw our barefeet on a big round table, toss our heads back in laughter, pass the kleenex round the circle...Raise our glasses and Clink! We'll all be dancin' under a sandy moon!

Scott...I love it! "all those little girls.....like biting rats!" I think I might have been there! I love a good chase!

SpongyBones said...

My first kiss was in a sewer drainage, her name was Angela, I will never forget it. She was Wonder Woman and I was the Bonic Man!

vicci said...

This is so wonderful!!!! My first kiss was under water!!!!!! Really!

she said...

oh! your writing
... your writing

your stories, your stories

can't get enough! -felt your every kiss; remembered every mine.

Orhan Kahn said...

As it always will be, simply beautiful. Touching and honest. Love the 'muah, muah'.

singleton said...

spongy....LOL! Ahhh, the memories those sewage pipes could tell!

vicci...I should have known....it's a mermaid thing!

she....Isn't it fun to remember, to go there and just wallow in it for a moment?

Orhan....muah!

justacoolcat said...

Beautiful.

singleton said...

justacoolcat....you remember, don't you?

Tai said...

So beautiful, Singleton. This brought tears to my eyes. All these kisses are like pearls, a necklace made of stories.

Angela Marie said...

This was beautiful singleton... it was like seeing your life through the telling of your kisses... cause love grows.

It brought back memories of all my 'kisses,'... it goes on.

KAYLEE said...

INCREDILE.That post was great, I loved reading it.

singleton said...

Tai...."a necklace made of stories"...your words are beautiful!

angela marie...yes, love grows....and it goes on and on and on......

kaylee...Thank you!

wreckless said...

Wow, that brought me back to a myriad of kissing experiences myself.
Great Great post and writing!!!

karoline said...

georgie porgie puddin' and pie...

i loved this one and thank goodness for lips, they have the ability to say a million things without ever uttering a syllable

Lizard Princess said...

This was incredibly amazing, and something many people can relate to.
Although, at the same time, it made me think of the fact that there are people out there who only dream of kisses, and have never experienced it. I know, it's a sad thought, sorry if it's a buzz kill, but it inspires me to keep an eye out for those people- the typically "unloved" people in the world and to spread some their way. Not necessarily kisses, but some kindness, a smile or a helping hand can go a long way.

Blue the Spa Girl said...

Such incredibleness as per usual.
Makes us feel THAT much more human after reading here. Gives the psyche a good kiss in it's mundane ass.
xoxo

Blue the Spa Girl said...

Kick.
Not kiss.
Freudian slip there sista.

Jay said...

That's beautiful, so many layers of luck and love.

singleton said...

wreckless....Isn't it cool how memories just whisper their way back to you?

Karoline....a million things....

lizard princess....Rock on! You are so right! "Smile on your brother,everybody get together, try to love one another, right now!"

singleton said...

blue...Love the new picture with little one! Beautiful! And BTW, sometimes the psche needs a good "kiss" in it's rump! Love it!

jay...Not always lucky in love, but lucky to have known it, seen it, touched it....
And Believed......

skinnylittleblonde said...

butterflies sister, butterflies in the stomache....

singleton said...

slb...I can still hear them.....

singleton said...

ooops! Feel them!
LOL! Read their numbers!

Orhan Kahn said...

I read that you will be going to the beach soon? And on the day of the AMO release date, tsk, tsk.

Just thought I'd let you know, as promised :)

singleton said...

Oh Orhan, Am leaving Friday for a week, but already bopped over for the preview and
Clink! Cheers! :)
This is gonna be one amazing ride!

Dan said...

Kisses are great. Smooches are even better. Hugs rock.

Hugs, kisses and smooches (virtual albeit) to you Singleton!

Enemy of the Republic said...

I thought I had left a comment on my first kiss. It wasn't much.

singleton said...

Dan...Yeah hugs rock, that's another world...... Muah!

Enemy....LOL! Well, what about the second one? :) or the last one?:)

Blue the Spa Girl said...

I must know. Who is Nadine?

singleton said...

blue....A year ago or so, I lost two of my very best soulful friends.....Same thing, same time....
joe....and nadine.....
There are days when I miss them terribly, days when I cry, but mostly, I can't....because they are both still here with me often....I see them in faces, hear their words in unexpected places and know....because I believe......

If you hit the tag "Nadine" it will take you to the deep blue-eyed pages of their love, their effect, their ever presence in my life......

Their stories are scribbled all over the ones that lay here and Joe's precious peace sign, on almost every post on JUSTGIVEMEPEACE......