Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Secret Valentines.....


You couldn't walk into Winn Dixie to buy toothpaste without having to swat through a curtain of irredescent strings. The weightless kite tails to bobbing heart balloons. Gypsy tents were popping up in abandoned parking lots, giant red and white teddy bears stuffed with sawdust plopped on the pavement. "Be my valentine". This hocus pocus holiday was raining on our parade. Three chics. No valentines in the making.
We were silly. A little creative. A little brave. And a little bored.
And then we decided to fix that.
Einna, Pia, and Scarlet O' Dare Ya. Yup, those were the names we decided on. Skinny rented the post office box after explaining in detail to the "Pack and Ship" manager the need for annonyminity, the need to be able to slip quietly into the building, and exit gracefully, without getting busted with the keys in our hands. It took a little cajoling, but finally he was in cahoots!
So here was the plan. If we weren't going to be getting Valentined, probably a lot of other folks weren't too. So we sat at the kitchen table, beers in the left hand, markers, paintbrushes, and cigarettes in the right hand, and started to make a list..... But who wants a pity party card? Hell, we didn't even want one of those. Nah, we had to come up with a better idea. "O.K., girls, this is the deal. We're each going to send out 10 valentines, to 10 guys we don't know."
And we did. We made our list, checked it twice. It's technically not all that easy to valentine people you don't know. We had to do a lot of research to find out the plumber's helpers name, the name of the guy in the third row of Skinny's economic class, Annies upstairs-three-doors-down neighbor's name . The name of the insurance agent, that we didn't buy policies from, arrived on a follow-up letter just in time to be included in our mischief. And the list goes on. The billboard boys, the thirty-something doctor with an attitude, the lonely boy, the pompous Cosmo Boy with his picture on the glossy pages, etc, etc, etc....
We stuffed the giant red envelopes with Colored cards, puzzle pieces, and all that glitters, everything a Valentine should ever be. Cupid ain't stupid....
And bopped them in the mail.
And waited.
And waited.
Skinny would sneak to the front doors of "Pack and Ship" and the night manager with his night eyes would just shake his head. "not today, girls".
We waited.
And then they came. Mountains of makeshift cards. Hallmark hellos. Penned and penciled valentines. There were dares and scares and "I don't know who you are, but I love you"s. There were confessions, proposals, and "why are you stalking me"s. There were pictures and postcards. But most of all, there were smiles.
In the end, we got busted by a few of them. Dated two of them. Had to hide from one of them.
Sometimes, even secrets make you smile.....
Happy Valentines Day!

12 comments:

Spadoman said...

Great tale. Wish I was on that "original" list!

We don't go in for the store bought made up celebrations. We like to do the Solstice and days that mean something to our own lives, but we have a game we play every year in February.

We each start asking the other, days in advance, if they have decided who their valentine would be this year, my wife and I. Each year it's the same, "I haven't picked anyone yet." story.

This morning, I asked her to be mine and she accepted and said she was gonna ask me today too!

We're both busy with some personal family things that popped up, but we'll celebrate with dinner on a day when we can relax and enjoy ourselves. That won't be today amidst the starry eyed lovers who'll be bobbin' and weavin' tryin' to "make it" tonight.

We made ours 25 years ago. Barb still has that first card that I sent her, two weeks after we met, in February of 1971.

Peace to you. And a happy valentine to you today.

skinnylittleblonde said...

LOL...oh,my sister! The things we did in yesteryear!
Remember, we, with our made up names were talked about on Talk Radio that year....twice...that we know of.
LOL we made a great impact. My quiet, little, shy neighbor of 4 years...who never had a date?
I think he ended up marrying the girl he originally thought sent that secret little valentine. LOL...had to remind him that 'Cupid Ain't Stupid'
Hahahaha, and then there was the guy who hired the private investigator who still didn't find us out!
Thank you for reminding me today of that wonderful fun we had, the wonderful impact we had & Happy Valentines Day to you!

ILYSVM

vicci said...

My Sister SAS.....Happy Heart Day to You Sweets....Hugs and Kisses are flying your way as we speak!!! Hope your day is filled with tons of LOVE....

Fuzzylogic said...

Lol,I can imagine how fun that would have been!Me and my friend did the same when we were in high school,we ended up sending cards to the nerdiest of the guys anonymously and whole day we sat around watching them all go around with that big smile on their faces and a twinkle in their eyes as they scanned the classroom hoping to catch that secret valentine!I have never laughed so much as I did that day:)Not to mention a few of them who found out about us were genuinely pissed off with us for days!Your post brought back memories:)

Angela Marie said...

Yes, sometimes even secrets make you smile...

Happy Valentines Day to you beautiful girl!!

singleton said...

Spadoman....and what a wonderful tradition you have, feeling the love when it's right, not just because Lover's Lane is open for business! Funny, but we went for dinner last night, expecting the lines to be longer than the 5:00 traffic...the restaraunt was almost empty, haunted tables everywhere....and still, they set us in the farthest corner, facing the river and the night sky...
Happy LYSVM day to you and Barb!

SLB...we rocked a world or two, didn't we? "Excuse me, are you Ricky Mann?" ILYSVVM

Sweet Vicci...I feel the love! And, on angel wings, back!

Fuzzy....ahhhh, birds of a feather!

Angela Marie....Yes! And I so very much hope yours is blessed!

Anon...tink!

Dan said...

Your artwork is amazing! Thanks for visiting my blog last week.

And a belated Happy Valentines Day to you. Since I believe we should love everyone all the time, I'm not too late. Hugs and kisses.

Baron Ectar said...

I so loved this - I would have loved to get a secret - I bet you two were fun as all get out!

Lizard Princess said...

Another lovely post- very funny! A great idea- I'd do it, but I think it may creep out my husband a tiny bit- LOL!
I'm going to link you- each new post is a vat of new smiles and sighs!
Good work!

singleton said...

Dan....
you are so right, it's gotta be peace-n-love in everyday life or it really doesn't count!

Baron - hell, we're STILL fun! lol! And as far as Cupid is concerned, if we had had blogging back then instead of just Talk Radio, I think you just might have gotten valentined!

lizard princess.... Ahhh, you never know, he might have liked it. Cheap annonymous thrills! LOL! Thanks for linking, I still don't have the linky dink thing down...worked like heck to get all of three up accidently!

Everybody have a great week-end!

Anonymous said...

Peinna says...

I almost did it again this year! It just wouldn't be the same without my cohorts though! Love you both!

singleton said...

Ahhhh......you coulda and we shoulda and we soooooo woulda! WLYSVVM!