Friday, February 16, 2007

It's Friday and we're off to the Parade......


“I hate men in costumes.” Please quote me on that.

I am not turned on by a man with a lopsided cowboy hat perched on his head, like a toppled bird nest, and pointy shoes. First off, men have big feet and the extra 3 ½ inches it takes to fit their toes into the point looks absurd to me. And I don’t know how they drive those big trucks that go with the get-up. It’s a wonder they don’t get their rattlesnake tips all caught up in the under-the-dash wires just shifting from stop to go. And besides that, I don’t think Fords look like horses. At all.

I’m not crazy about the baseball hat thing either. Not backwards at all. And toss in the “I just bought these today” white sneakers and tidy whitey under shirt cuffed at the sleeve, and I get all confused. Is this West Side Story? Should I run back inside and whip up a dress?

And then there’s “The Suit”. OK, OK, OK. I know you dress up like that all day in the Florida sun to call on all your VIP customers, but it’s hot here. We bake here actually. If you’re not Richard Gere, leave the pinstripes at home. This is the south baby.

And don’t forget “My Bad.” Yeah. His mama taught him well. His shorts are the size of a teepee tent, just flashing a little ankle below and a lotta Joe boxer up top. His neck is drenched in electroplate, maybe even a tooth or two to match. And the doo……. The gelled and moused spikes, poking straight up in the air…..I can’t see the “running my fingers through your hair” thing….

Nah. I don’t do men in costumes. I like mine in levis and button downs, T-shirts and khakis. Just everyday threads. With everyday hair. And an everyday smile. In an everyday world. My world.

No wonder you stood out in the crowd.

22 comments:

Spadoman said...

No costumes here, not even when I ride the motorcycle. Check yer mail, you'll see!

Peace

singleton said...

Ahhhh, Spado, You'd stand out in a crowd, too!

Angela Marie said...

I like my man the same way! He definately stood out and still does.

No Costumes!

Hands up to you Singleton!

Spadoman said...

Say, about that Peace sign picture, two posts down. Is that one of your works?

singleton said...

Angela Marie....right? Keepers.

Sweetspado....yes. And it was born exactly the way the post reads....it hangs now, as it has since the eve of 1992, in a different house at a different time, on my living room wall....reminding me always...
to pray for peace....
just give me peace....

skinnylittleblonde said...

Hahahaha...great post sib!

skinnylittleblonde said...

LoL, BTW...I am rememberint the costume I found DH in... duct-taped, pointy-toed, black cowboy boots, Harley Davidson bluejeans with the biggest, shiniest silver belt-buckle this side of the Mississippi & a larger-than-life cowboy hat, under which he tucked short, slicked back hair.

mindy said...

i'm with you on this one too!
being in texas, that's all i see are men in costumes.. and what about the girl that match them. hilarious!

vicci said...

I can't stand the baseball hat thing all the time! I like a worn pair of levis and a t-shirt on my guys....and I knew my guy was the one for me when I spotted his long pony-tail!

Dan said...

How about men in uniform? :)

The women I find most attractive are those wearing jeans and maybe t-shirts, short enough so that I can see midriff. Love midriff!

Of course I don't mind if the t-shirts are a bit tight and they're not wearing bras.

OK, I'll stop now. :)

singleton said...

SLB... I never saw your DH in the uniform, but I think I saw his kickers the night we went dancin'....I know they're hard to part with even as you become a gentle hippie! Kinda like my silver platforms!

Mindy...LOL! Matching costumed couples make me crazy.... Don't even get me goin'!

Ahhh, Sweet Vicci....you know, I've done that ponytail thing myself..... Married one actually and SLBs DH is growing his locks out now for Love, you know!

Dan....all depends on the uniform. I loved a soldier once, and my heart goes out to everyone of them now....
And I think you stopped just in time! LOL!

Anonymous said...

Singleton,
Wanna take me clothes shopping? I feel pretty safe after reading the last paragraph but just to be on the safe side...

Lizard Princess said...

You've been "tagged" to do a "6 weird things about me" post on your blog. Come on over and look at mine to see it. Get Zapped tagged me, and his can be seen at his "Zippy Pics" blog!
Have fun!
PS- I love your writing- I can't get over it!

Baron Ectar said...

Whew I pass!

singleton said...

anon....you stand out in a crowd, just ask the redhead!

lizard princess... six? and I have to follow the rules? You rock, silly girl, is there a time limit on this gotchya game?

baron....Whew! I'm glad!

SpongyBones said...

My bro is the cowboy, I'm the rebel! I wonder if I'd pass ...

photo blog girl said...

I'm with you. Men should not wear pointy shoes!!!

Lizard Princess said...

No time limit- I took a whole week to think of mine and it still wans't that great- I suck at writing about myself. I'd rather write about the dog, my kid, an activity or an era- Anything but myself directly!
It was hard, but I'm really interested in what you'd have to say- you seem like a deep and unique person.

singleton said...

spongybones...rebels always pass!

photo blog girl....I know! And actually I don't even think we should! They're so....so....pointed!

Lizard princess...I loved reading about you! And I guess that's what the whole tag thing is all about...."You're it!" Opens up a whole new window...."Hello, it's me"....

Orhan Kahn said...

Don't get me wrong but it seems like you would've fell in love with a more stylish version of Steve Irwin ;)

Btw, lovely the Humptey-Dumptey-esc painting. I could see it through my snap view (gives me a glance of your page from DoRP) and immediately clicked!

Anonymous said...

OK Singleton, After what Orhan said, We are def. going clothes shopping.

singleton said...

Ahhhh Orhan....you just never know with us hippie chicks, we ain't got rhyme or reason!

Anon....like for costumes?