Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Burn, baby, burn....

The terrazzo floors were cold. It didn’t matter that it was August. And gritty. Sand under my fat-padded little feet. I ran on my tip toes. A plastic bag of cheerios in my right hand. From the kitchen to the TV. Laughing.

The cartoons were on. In black and white.

He sat on the floor. In pajamas, too. Humped over. Scrunched close to the TV. I ran up behind him, behind the plaid flannel shirt and matching shorts, the greasy black hair . And flung myself. Bammm! Laugh! The rabbit ears on the TV matched his hair and for a moment, from the back , I had crashed into a giant Bunny! He made a sound, “hmmmmmppphhhhh”, and scrunched further into himself. He wasn’t fun. But he was here. Sometimes he smiled. Squinted his eyes and smiled. Most of the time, he didn’t.

Mama finished the dishes. Set the coffee cup upside down into the plastic drainer and sighed. “I’m gonna hang the clothes out. Don’t leave the room”. I didn’t know then that living at the beach had it’s drawbacks. We didn’t have a dryer.

“I was only gone a moment” she would later say. She had toted the wicker laundrey basket out the back door into the sandy yard, and just two or three swimsuits later, realized that the clothespins were in a little plastic basket in the house, leftover from the “take the laundrey down” game we had played the day before. She sighed and her barefeet prickled and high-heeled it through the the hot sand and back into the house.

She was horrified.

I stood silently screaming …

melting….

In the middle of the terrazzo floor….

pajamas engulfed…..

The back of his black head, wearing the silhouette of the rabbit ears, never moved. He reached over and turned the volume up……

16 comments:

Scott from Oregon said...

I'm confused...

Rachelle said...

oh my heck....
How hurt were you little girl?
You poor dear....
*sigh* the crap we went through huh?
Now, is it dad or a handicapped brother who is the 'rabbit ears'? I had both, disassociated father and DD brother. Throw in a mother who couldnt' parent me to save her life, and at times it felt like I needed to drag in a severed head to get noticed...

I am horrified, but so happy to have found such a strong, strong woman who survived and thrived. I will be back often.
Slainte~
Rachelle

singleton said...

Scott....
And so was everyone else. An accident with no cause or a crime with no evidence....And only two people know for sure....one that would never tell and one that can't remember.....

rachelle....bless you sweetie. My precious brothers and sisters had not yet arrived in this world , I was just a little one. In this moment in time, "rabbit ears" was the stranger amongst us, a wayward young boy under my parents care....

JustRun said...

I'm sure it felt as unreal as it seems here. You explain it all so vividly, though.

skinnylittleblonde said...

That blogger is a beast with an unsatiable appetite!
Sisterlove...Funny how our memories protect us, wrapping around our minds like wet blankets on those burns, snuffing out the smoke & saving our skin, allowing our scars to be just that...scars & not the open wounds that they could be.
Wayward boys...no short supply on them! I can't wait to see you and Kimbies! I'll be bringing two wayward boys of my own...luckily they are funloving.
ILYSVMSS

vicci said...

My sweetie...hope you were okay...and "nothing lasting"....that is a very scary thing!

Bardouble29 said...

absolutely scary...

she said...

"..just two or three swimsuits later, realized that the clothespins were in a little plastic basket in the house,.."

-thank God.

your whole life hanging on the line -quite literally.

you do such an incredible thing here; making art from your survival stories

born free again!

Angela Marie said...

Wow... I am so glad that you are Okay.

How scary!

singleton said...

justrun...funny, I don't remember feeling it at all....just the cold of the floors and the hum of the black and white TV....

ILYSVVMSLB....you got that baby! These skint knees and dirty elbows have gotten us everywhere!

vicci....it's all good, sweetie

bardouble...scarier lookin' back actually! mostly, one lucky kid!

she...always free! And isn't that the way it all goes, one second either way or the other and everything could change forever.... as always, the butterfly effect! peace girl!

singleton said...

angela marie....thank you!Just one of those early memories, but I don't remember being scared....

Orhan Kahn said...

Oh, my.

Shrink wrapped scream said...

Hot damn,

I left a comment here AGES ago, and now its gone, guess I typed the code in wrong, or something..

That little girl sure knows best, honey - keep your trust in her, and she won't lead you wrong. x

singleton said...

Orhan...Oh, Me!

Shrinkwrapped....Those comments are funny aren't they - little paper kites that sometimes get caught in the wind and fly to where? I don't know. And yes, I trust that little one, I know you know...

psycho-therapist said...

isn't it amazing how many of us who have been baptized in fire become mermaids and butterflies? swimming and flying away from our pain..

singleton said...

Sweet psycho-therapist.....yes, and the transformation begins with the words..."Once upon a time"....a fairy tale to those that don't know or understand....Butterflies are free~