Tuesday, May 26, 2009

It doesn't matter whose child it is....

There were wires everywhere and the hum of soft shoes padding up and down the halls almost drove me mad. How could they be so quiet when my world was exploding? How could my heart pound louder than every machine they had plugged in, louder than the canned voice calling Dr. Kildare on the loud speaker? How could they not crumple, fall to their knees with me...and know....

Long before he stabilized they told me in a foreign antiseptic language..."we've done all we can do"... and then they scattered, pigeons on a highway dodging five o'clock traffic.

And then he lived.

They came back to pack him up, uninsured, in my little red car. Naked and broken. Nobody wished us well on the way out the door. They didn't call in the morning to check on him.

This time they kept him.

And for 72 hours someone will watch over my child. With the cheese curl toes. The homemade tattoo on his ankle. The blonde hair with the slightest red sunset. For 72 hours he will be mad, but he'll breathe.

And I'll cry,
But I'll sleep...

Because he'll be safe....

11 comments:

Spadoman said...

Peace in your heart.

Bardouble29 said...

Oh sweetheart....I feel the pain and the sadness.

Peace to you love!

singleton said...

Spado...Thank you friend, Peace is a butterfly, a moment....We have to catch it where we can....and hold it in our hearts:)

Bardouble...Ah, sweet girl, it's so wonderful to see you again, and I'm so sorry you came by to these words...I crumpled for a moment...just let the tears fly...but today the sun came out...and finally, the heartmoniters stopped alarming...Tomorrow will be a gift for us all:)

skinnylittlesister said...

ilysvfmsl...

Oceanshaman said...

With you, Sings . . . may the divine flow be with you and fill you . . . surrender to it, and have strength . . .

P&L

Shimmerrings said...

I'm so sorry you had to feel that pain... sorry he had to feel that pain...

singleton said...

Skinnylittlesisterlove....I can't tell you how many times, how BIG your love is to me. You're my rock, kiddo....over and over and over again. I can't wait to see you...Counting days....12 to go!

Oceans...Thank you. In the midst of chaos, finding tiny little moments of peace....A ladybug crawling up my arm...Baby Love repeating over and over again a new word "What's that?".... everyday reminders that Life is good, we gotta grab it when we can:)

Shimmerings....Oh Friend, how I know you know....We've been so lucky....so close to the Edge...teetering between now and no turning back. Much love to you.

And Peace, for all of us

she said...

you're the most beautiful, creative, real human being.. to baby love's words, smiles, touches.. butterflies.. signs of love and hope and good news that tie together and make a life line


prayers for and with you singtome! love, ~s.

Justgivemepeace said...

She...A new sun is rising. And I'll paint her face a thousand times...And say her name out loud...Hope.

Much love to you, friend, always

Maithri said...

Beautiful and Beloved friend,

Out from under this broken sky
I offer up a prayer
a soft wish
a little grey butterfly
with a heart that
glows blue and gold

May you and the circle
be wrapped
in the wild wings of love

May it keep you safe

Bring you peace
Whispering

All-ways,

All my love, Maithri

singleton said...

Maithri...
Oh, Friend...
Long before I read your words here,
your voice out loud,
I heard you...
The words I learned from you...
felt your whisper
in the cold green halls...

And I knew...

"it doesn't matter whose child" or
why
or when...
your prayers would be there.

And I thank God you're my friend...
and that
on my refrigerator
tethered to a musty old magnet
dangles the most gorgeous
red ribbon...

Woza Moya...

Come Change...