Sunday, October 26, 2014

Ta-Ta's, Tattoos, and the Twisted Trip to Now...Brave is Beautiful....

The water was muddy...glistening...flirting with me in the sunset....and I kicked my feet and made it splash....delightfully cold against my bare toes, splattering up my shins....and I suddenly wanted to reach over and grab his hand and fall into the lake, face first, together....
and come up dripping and dirty and drenched and laughing.  I wanted the rheumy waves, the cold shock of the water to rinse over us....to cleanse us of the news...

But I just held his hand.  My battered and blue breast clinging to my chest for another day out at the park, another picnic...another memory...before they were gone.  Before I was butchered.  Before I gave them up to save my life...Before my life changed...forever....Before I lived....

Days and Months went by, blurred by stainless steel tables, good news, bad news, needles, pills, bandages, Fear....the stuff that makes you weak at your knees, but so frickin' strong.... And I kept holding his hand, stretching, reaching, splashing my toes in the water....feelin'  Mother Nature's healing powers... Basking in her warm arms... listening to her stories in the wind...her strength in the silence....

And I believed.  In Me.  In the powers of Ma Earth.  In love.  In my amazing team of Doctors.  In my incredible Sisters before me.

This is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Girls.  Get your mammograms done.  Get ultrasounds if you have a family history, Get spittin'.  This is your life.  Fight for it!

*Photo taken by my Hippie Love, Ray....marking this journey with my new Tattoos, on my new Ta-Ta's and still under the protective blanket of Ma Nature, a Team of Great Doctors, and the sweet, sweet love of an unbroken circle. 10 months post bilateral total mastectomys. 5 months post reconstructive breast replacement.  3 weeks post new nipple tattoos.   Living, loving, learning everyday*

*Driftwood courtesy of our beautiful river*

9 comments:

skinnylittleblonde said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE !!!

Justgivemepeace said...

And I love love love you!

Anonymous said...

Oh, beautiful Sing...as strong as the sun kissed daffodil, reaching up to grace the earth...and yet as fragile as the delicate violet, whose sweet scent, the breeze carries, in merriment and mirth...yes, you are beautiful, this pic is oh so beautiful...love is beautiful...love...Shimmerrings...

Justgivemepeace said...

Shimmerings, ((((hugs))))...

You're the light, girl!

Anonymous said...

It is you, who are always the Light ...this pic is one of the best, most artistic yet, Love...and the story, so full of all that you 3 girls are made of...in this case, you! Thank you for sharing your story...Shimmerrings...

eric1313 said...

I feared for you long ago when you told me about this... running in the family. I'm glad you're braver than I myself!

The circle was never broken. I'm proud of that and gladdened, because my circles up here were shattered. No need to go into it, it's done. Our friend Shimmerings helped guide me through so I wouldn't die from the shock of leaving my comfort zone of being Mr. Nice Dude, lol...

But you know how I make things even from brokenness. Don't waste a thing, because... reasons. And stuff. :-) We never know until we *know*.

But, I have a new circle, as well as this circle that I hope I am still part of being. The new... Is a circus circle. Truly circus. I'll post some more Acro/Aerial poems soon (with illustrations! click, shheeeng! Love my new canon camera...), I just need to do more and gain more experience, and let these new modes of thinking and being take hold in my mind.

Remember when you told me you learned to float, but it was too sad to describe the process... that was all you needed to say back them. I don't need to hear details to know them, even if I don't actually know. But without boring detail of sorrow and loss, I'm learning to fly and balance on air. Same as floating, as far as I'm concerned. Different reason, yet the same.

SO glad you are alive and well! lol... And Ray sounds awesome. Hey, hey! I was a maintenance man, too, back long before we ever even knew we would meet, before the internet times... Used to run across the street to work every morning two minutes late on time ;-) That was the jopb that told me with some force to get my but into a community college, where I learned the basics that would lead me to bloggy land. That was an experience too. No matter how sad, I must say it all happened the way it did for a reason. I may have taken twenty years to accept all the reasons, but I'm not lying to say it was all good and none of it hurt, to paraphrase Kurt Vonnegut's wondrous line from Slaughthouse Five.

Peace out, my friend. The circle is as resilient as the sky and the waves meeting forever at the horizon's expansive veranda. It will never break.

eric1313 said...

Well, ten years it took, but it sometimes felt so much longer whilst wandering my own private Land of Nod...

I'll go before I fill up your comment box with 300 of my own. Clink! And give Ray another beer. I'll have a vodka and cranberry, if that's ok.

singleton said...

Cheers! To Camera's with flash, and Cranberrys with rocks! Here's to the New Year, balancing in air, and all the Good Stuff trips from here to there, or anywhere, are made of!

eric1313 said...

Cheers.

Hope you are well, my friend. Getting ready for work, and getting ready to move on in life, too. Wish me real luck for that. I have a few hard tasks ahead of me.